Growing Up: A Frencer Love Story
by MeEkO93
Summary: Spencer wasn't what you would call normal. Anyone that knew him would tell you that, but this was one time when his lack of normalcy had turned deadly.... Spencer/Freddie
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: **

Spencer wasn't what you would call normal. Anyone that knew him would vouge for that. But this was one time when his lack of normalcy had turned deadly.

He watched in a daze as the cops cuffed Freddie's Dad. He almost puked when they took Freddie's mom out in a body bag. But the most disturbing image was of Freddie, with his black eye and traumatized expression, sitting on the couch and answering the chief's questions. Carly and Sam were by the door, crying, wondering what was going on. They had gotten here after the cops had shown up. Only Spencer had caught a glimpse of what really happened, and he was thankful that he hadn't seen the whole thing.

If only he had gotten here 10 minutes sooner. If only he hadn't dawdled in the super market, wondering what kind of donuts to buy. Spencer had seriously stood there, for 10 minutes, telling himself that he was having a staring contest with the donuts, talking to them! If he was normal, he would have simply grabbed a pack of donuts and left. He would have come back in time, and maybe he could have stopped it. Then he wouldn't have to be staring at Freddie, guilt coursing through his veins every time he thought about what Freddie must be feeling.

Spencer was still staring into space, captured in his own thoughts when the policeman came up to him and wanted to ask him a couple of questions. It was as if he wasn't even in his own body. It was like someone else nodded, and told the whole story over again.

"So," the officer began, taking a wide stance with his notepad in hand. "Where were you from 7-8 this evening?"

"Uh, I was at my friend, Socko's, for a little bit. Then I went to the store to pick up some things."

"And you went straight to your apartment?"

"No. My apartment is right across the hall, and when I walked by I heard yelling and crying," Spencer paused. It seemed like so long ago, but it was only an hour, maybe less.

"Then what?" the officer probed.

Spencer took a deep breath. "I walked in, right as he hit Freddie across the face."

The officer jotted down some notes, as casual as if he were making a grocery list, his face neutral.

"I stood there for a second, then I dropped my bags, and went in swinging. But I didn't get to her fast enough. I had only taken a couple steps before he pulled the trigger," Spencer shuddered. Images flooded through his mind. They were forever zapped in his brain: blood, lots of blood. Freddie flying to the ground from the blow, curling up into the fetal position, helpless. His father's crazy expression.

"And then I punched him in the face, so he dropped the gun. He was coming after me, so I just grabbed the first thing I could get my hands on and hit him again."

"The lamp?"

"Yea, that's when you guys got here. I guess someone called the cops before I got here."

"Yes, we got a call reporting a domestic dispute around 7:45." He finished writing on his notepad, his big, beefy hands making the pen hard to see.

"Thank you, Mr. Shay," he said without emotion, and walked away.

Spencer's attention turned to the door, where his grocery bags still lay. The donuts seemed to taunt him, and make guilt rush through him once again. He slowly circled around, wondering what to do next, when he caught Freddie's eye. They stared at each other for a moment. He reminded Spencer of a little kid, lost and confused, his expression innocent. He wondered if Freddie was grateful, or if he resented him for not coming sooner. He wondered if Freddie was even there, or if he was feeling the same as Spencer: like he was watching all of this from up above, like he wasn't in his own body. Could he see Spencer's regret written all over his face?

Freddie looked down, breaking eye contact. Just then the same officer who questioned Spencer came up to him. "You can go home now, Mr. Shay." He started hearding him out of the door.

"Wait, where's Freddie gonna go?" he asked desperately.

"We've called his grandma. He'll stay there for now." They were at the door by this point.

"Ok," Spencer almost tripped over his damn grocery bags.

A week later

Carly and Sam were in the iCarly studio, but it felt so empty without Freddie there. It was the day of the first iCarly since that night, and at first neither of them wanted to do it, but decided that Freddie would want them to. It wasn't going to be like their usual shows. They didn't have any crazy stunts planned. Now that all seemed stupid.

"Ok, Sam, go turn the camera on," Carly said sadly. She stood up, wanting nothing more than for everything to be the way they were before.

"In 5, 4, 3, 2…" Sam said.

"Hey, I'm Carly."

"And I'm Sam."

"And this is iCarly," they both said together. Carly had no idea what they were going to do. This wasn't right. So, she said the first thing that came to her mind.

"Freddie, if you're watching this, we just want you to know that we miss you, and that we hope you're ok," she said briskly.

"And call us whenever you feel like it," Sam said. It was the only time that she didn't say anything teasing or mean to Freddie. Everything was backwards. Somehow, Carly knew that Freddie was watching. She just knew.

"We'll come visit you as soon as your grandma says its ok. Gibby and Spencer said they'll come, too!!" Carly worked to sound enthusiastic, but knew she wasn't pulling it off. Tears were beginning to swell up in her eyes. It was hard to believe that 2 weeks ago, they had all gone to the Groovy Smoothy and laughed and were happy.

"Ok, Fredward. We don't really have much else to say," said Sam. She looked at Carly for some support. She wasn't used to crying.

"Thanks for watching," Carly said. She solemnly went to the camera and turned it off. "And we're clear."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

Spencer was sitting at the computer, watching the last of iCarly. It was one of the saddest things he'd ever seen. It hurt him to know that his sister was in so much pain. He was supposed to be there for her, but he couldn't even pull himself together.

The girls came down the stairs. Spencer tried being upbeat.

"Hey, Sam, I'm making spaghetti tacos. Wanna stay for dinner?"

Sam seemed to appreciate the effort. "You gotta ask?" she smiled.

The rest of the night was better than the past week had been. They all talked about casual things, ignoring the elephant in the room. But that's what they all needed.

Sam left for the night. It was around 9. That's when the walls were suddenly torn down, and Carly and Spencer couldn't ignore the elephant any longer.

"When can we go see Freddie?" Carly asked.

Spencer sighed. "I don't know," he said quietly.

"I miss him," she said.

"Me, too. I'll call his grandma tomorrow, ok?"

She nodded. "Good night." Carly headed up the stairs.

Spencer paced around the living room for a while with nothing to do. Freddie and him were close. They had become good friends. But whenever he thought about going to visit him, he tried thinking of what he would say.

"Hey, Freddie. Sorry I couldn't get there in time. I was too busy talking to inanimate objects." Or: "Hey, Freddie, sorry I couldn't get there in time to save your mom. Can you forgive me?"

To sum it up, he was a mess. Being in this apartment didn't help either, given the fact that the disaster had happened ten feet from where he was standing. Not only did he feel guilty about not getting there in time, but he felt he could have handled it differently. If he hadn't gone after him, he could have negotiated. Maybe he wouldn't have shot Mrs. Benson if Spencer hadn't charged at him like an idiot. Putting his own problems aside he looked up Greta Benson's phone number, jotted it down and hung it on the fridge. He promised he would call her tomorrow, for Carly's sake.

Before he could be a chicken and back out, he called Greta first thing in the morning before Carly woke up. She seemed like a nice lady. The way she talked automatically made Spencer imagine the grandma that baked cookies and had tea parties.

By noon, Carly, Sam, Spencer, and Gibby were all in the car and on their way. Spencer tried to hide his unease by blaring the music. He kept it light and teasing, and they had all agreed to keep it light around Freddie.

They arrived at a small house surrounded by flowers. Looks like I was right about the tea and cookies, Spencer thought. The house almost looked like a cottage. The air was humid. It seemed to suffocate Spencer as he approached the door, which had a sign on it that said, "Home is where the heart is." Ok, that was just over the top, he thought.

Greta opened the door. She looked like any old lady, really. Gray hair, jeans, blue t-shirt. She probably bought her clothes from the thrift store. Spencer noted that her and Freddie had the same brown eyes.

"Come on in," she said politely. She had a smoker's voice, or maybe it just sounded that way because she was old. They all gathered into a small, cozy living room, complete with a bowl of candy on the coffee table. All of this seemed like it was out of a movie, and for some reason it annoyed the hell out of Spencer.

"Freddie's in his room. I didn't tell him you all were coming. I thought he could use a surprise," her voice held a note of sorrow, and they all knew what it meant. "Go on in," she urged.

Spencer stayed behind. "Go ahead, guys. I'll just chill out here for a bit," he said casually. He sat on the couch and heard Freddie's voice.

"Oh my god! What are you all doing here?!" he exclaimed. Carly and Sam squealed. Gibby said, "Yo, Benson!" Then, the door shut and Spencer could hear no more.

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After Carly and Sam stopped screaming, Freddie made room on his bed so they could all sit down. "its great to see you guys," he said honestly. He had watched iCarly last night and it had made him sad to see his best friends like that. Having them here just made his day. He felt happy for the first time since that night. They chatted about little things, like school, and their whacky art teacher.

"Her and Spencer would sure get along," Carly said with amusement.

"Where is Spencer?" Freddie suddenly wondered.

"Oh, he's waiting in the living room," Sam said, gesturing her arm toward the door. Freddie let it go. He would talk to Spencer soon.

"So, are you guys gonna keep going with iCarly next week?" he asked. The room went from normal to tense.

"We…haven't decided yet," Gibby said slowly.

"Well, I could always come down once a week," he offered. iCarly was important to all of them.

"Are you sure? Considering-" Carly stopped short.

Freddie knew what she was about to say. 'Considering your mom was murdered right across the hall.' The very thought made his stomach drop. It felt like it was full of lead. No! he told himself. You cant get all mopey when your friends came all this way to see you!

"How is Spencer doing?" he asked as a distraction.

Carly looked down sadly. "Well, he hasn't been the same…" she trailed off. Freddie looked at her in alarm.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"He's just… "

"Quiet." Sam supplied. Gibby nodded in agreement.

Freddie nodded and looked down. Everything was so messed up! He took a deep breath and heaved himself off of the bed.

"Let's go out there. This room is too small." Freddie's room was within eyesight of the living room, so as soon as he opened the door he could see Spencer's back toward him, sitting on the couch. As he kept walking, everything seemed to be in slow motion. He came around the corner of the couch, and Spencer slowly looked up at him, with a peculiar expression on his face. There was so much Freddie wanted to say at that moment. 'Thank you for saving my life' for instance, but he didn't know how to begin. Instead they just stared at eachother. Freddie could see the difference in Spencer's face. He looked older, sadder. He probably looked that way to Spencer, too. But it made Freddie feel uneasy. And he had a sudden urge to comfort him, for him to be the happy, whacky Spencer they all knew.

"Would you guys like some homemade donuts?" his grandma asked. Everything sped up again, and everything seemed louder. He took a donut off the platter and turned back to Spencer, who was now looking down.

"Donut, Spencer?" Greta asked.

"Uh..no thanks," he winced, and cursed under his breath.

Since when did Spencer turn down free donuts? Freddie wondered.

xxxxxxxxxx

The only thing Spencer knew was that he had to avoid talking to Freddie at all costs. Hell, just looking at him made his guts turn inside out with guilt. When Freddie came out, he noticed that his black eye was healing up. He wasn't the same, but he looked better than Spencer felt. And then Greta just happened to have donuts. _Donuts! _Why couldn't it be cookies?!

An awkward silence fell as everyone but Spencer ate their donuts. He guessed no one knew quite what to say. Then, as if this day couldn't get any worse, Greta offered to take everyone on a tour of her garden. Thinking that Freddie would go along with his friends, he offered to stay behind. But then Freddie offered the same thing.

Now, here he was, alone with him, not knowing what to say.

"Why wont you talk to me?" Freddie asked bluntly.

"What do you want me to say?" Spencer countered. Freddie didn't answer. Spencer felt bad for being so harsh. He just couldn't stop messing up, could he? He sighed and looked down. He was starting to get a headache.

"What's wrong?" he asked gently.

"You're asking_ me_ what's wrong?" he said sarcastically.

Freddie took a deep breath. "Spencer, I just wanted to say-" his sentence was cut off when everyone else re entered the room. Spencer gave a huge sigh of relief. If Freddie was about to say thank you, he wouldn't have been able to handle it. He felt Freddie's hand leave his shoulder, and he got up quickly.

"We better get going, you guys."

"Alright," said Carly. "Bye, Freddie! We'll stay longer the next time we come over." she turned to give him a hug. Freddie looked at Spencer curiously over Carly's shoulder and Spencer looked away.

"Bye, Carly," he said.

Sam came next. "Fredward, don't be afraid to text us or something, alright?"

"Fer sher," he said with a slight smile. Gibby parted with him with a handshake.

Everyone was in the car and buckled when Greta came rushing to them from the yard, waving a piece of paper. Spencer rolled down the window. "Yes?"

"I would really like it if you all came to the funeral," she said, her voice pleading. On the paper was the address of the church and the date jotted down in an untidy scrawl. Spencer looked back at Carly, and her expression said everything.

"Alright, we'll be there."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Freddie adjusted his tie. Until that day, he hadn't even known how to tie a tie. His mom always did it for him. She did everything for him.

He looked in the mirror and examined his eye. It was almost completely healed. He looked like Fredward Benson, but he sure didn't feel like him. He never felt like himself anymore. He only felt like himself 3 days ago, when all of his friends had come to visit him. Even then, though, it was like part of him was missing. He definitely wasn't looking forward to this day. Well, no one looked forward to a funeral, did they.

The one plus was that Carly, Sam, and Spencer were going to be there. Gibby had gone out of town the day after he visited, so he couldn't make it. No one close to him had ever died before, and he honestly didn't know how anyone ever dealt with it. Freddie would wake up several times a night, clutching his stomach and trying to hold himself together. He hadn't had a gotten a full night's sleep since it happened. His father would creep up in his nightmares, gun in hand, ready to kill.

He felt like he was going to puke. But he had to make It through this. He would like nothing more than to go back to bed and never get up, but he had to go for his mom. Sure, his mom was crazy and overprotective, but he had loved her, and now she was gone. Forever.

"Freddie, its time to be going," his grandma called. Freddie could hear the tears in her voice. He suddenly wondered if she was as overprotective to his mom as his mom was to him.

"I'm coming," he said. "Here goes nothing," he mumbled under his breath.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The car drive was silent. Everyone was dressed in black, adding to the glum. Spencer was remembering all of the insane things Mrs. Benson had done, and wondered if Carly and Sam were doing the same thing. He was trying to think about anything except the image of her being killed.

The funeral was just like any other funeral. The minister stood at the podium, talking about how she was in a better place. Spencer spotted Freddie in the front row, his head bent low. He wondered what he was thinking about.

"Let us pray," said the minister.

Spencer prayed for one thing only. _Let Freddie be ok._

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

A sad song started to play, and everyone started crying. Everyone except Freddie. Then people started hugging. He looked over his shoulder and saw Spencer and the girls coming over. He didn't work on putting up a mask. It took too much energy.

Carly came running into his arms, saying how sorry she was for his loss. Even Sam gave him a quick hug. She wasn't crying, though. He didn't expect her to. Spencer would barely look at him. Again. Freddie hugged him anyway, catching him off guard. He hoped Spencer understood everything he was trying to communicate through that gesture: Thank you.

"Sorry about everything," Spencer mumbled. His voice held an edge of a double meaning, like he was trying as desperately as Freddie was to say something else. Freddie nodded, not allowing Spencer to break eye contact. Why was he acting like this?

Silence insued, eventually broken by Greta.

"May I talk to you, Spencer? Carly, too, if you wouldn't mind?"

"Sure," Spencer said. Freddie swore he could hear relief in his voice. Ugh, he was driving him insane!

That left Sam and him alone, and for once he didn't mind.

"You know, you don't have to be nice to me just because of this," said Freddie, trying to lighten the mood.

"Really…" Sam said, a mysterious edge to her voice. She smirked.

"Really," Freddie tried to smile, but didn't quite pull it off.

She scoffed, sounding like her old self. "Alright, nerd, we'll see how this goes."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Greta led Spencer and Carly outside, where, ironically, it was raining.

"I want to talk to you about Freddie," she began.

"Ok…" Spencer said.

"Well, I was wondering if…uh…if Freddie could come live with you for a while," she said that last part in a rush. She looked down, as if afraid they were going to yell at her.

Oh, god, can this get any worse? Spencer thought. He could hardly stand looking at him as it was, now he had to live with him? "Why?"

"Well, he hardly ever leaves his room. At night, I can hear him crying," she stopped, collecting herself. "The other day, when you all came over, that was the happiest I had seen him. He's just…not there when its just me and him. Its like he's a damn zombie!" she exclaimed. Greta put her hand to her mouth, sniffeling. "I just think he would be happier with you."

"Well, is that really the best idea, considering it happened in our building?" Spencer asked, desperate now.

"I think he'll be fine," Carly butted in. Spencer pursed his lips in frustration. This was getting ridiculous. He knew it was the right thing to do, but would he be able to handle it?

"Spencer, if we can help him be happy, then we have to do it, right?" she asked.

"Yes," he said. He had to stop being selfish and think about Freddie. And this would make Carly happy, too. It would be the best thing for everyone. "Alright, we'll do it," he surrendered.

"Thank you," Greta's voice sounded so relieved, so grateful, that Spencer knew that he had done the right thing.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Freddie went up the elevator with dread in his stomach. Sure, in the long run he would be happy here, with the people he knew, but in the mean time, the memories of that night were still fresh in his brain. It didn't help that everything had happened right across the hall from where he was going to be living. Another thing he wasn't quite looking forward to was living with Spencer. He still had no idea what was wrong with the guy. Well, there were the obvious things, like witnessing something no one should ever have to see, but why was he completely and totally ignoring Freddie?

Ever since the funeral, which was about 3 weeks ago, Spencer hadn't come and visited. He would just drop Carly and Sam off and leave without a word. Even though it was stupid, Freddie felt a little, well, hurt.

The elevator stopped, and he took a few breaths before walking out the doors, lugging his 2 suitcases behind him. He kept his face forward, never looking to the right.

Well, Spencer, you can't possibly ignore me now, he thought. He kept his mind blank as he walked by the door to his past home, and went straight into the Shays' apartment. Being there again felt surreal. It was so bright and happy everywhere. As usual, Spencer's sculpture's littered the place. Freddie looked up, knowing that the iCarly studio was right above his head. He had had so many good times in this place, but he knew that the good times wouldn't be around for a while.

Spencer came running to the living room. "Lewbert! I told you I didn't steal your-" he stopped when he saw Freddie standing there awkwardly. "Oh…hey."

"Hey," answered Freddie, trying to sound normal. "Where should I put my stuff?"

"Just anywhere. We have an air mattress you could sleep on for now."

"Alright," Freddie put his stuff next to the tv, out of anybody's way.

"Carly and Sam are still at school…" Spencer began.

Freddie had to resist from rolling his eyes. Did he really not want him there that much? Fine, he wouldn't make a pest of himself. "I go back next week. I'm gonna be really behind though," he commented.

"You're smart. You'll catch up in no time," Spencer cleared his throat.

At least hes _trying_ to make conversation, Freddie thought. This was going to be a long day.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Spencer and Freddie stayed in all day, but didn't say much. They sat next to eachother the entire time, watching tv. Spencer never relaxed from his tense position. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Freddie shake his head in irritation a couple of times. He understood why. Spencer wasn't exactly being a good host. He couldn't go on like this forever; he knew that. Eventually he would have to act normal around Freddie, just like he used to. That wasn't going to be today, though.

After he couldn't stand to look at the tv any longer, he shut it off and looked at Freddie. Just try, he thought. He noticed the dark circles under Freddie's eyes. "You look tired."

"Yep," said Freddie. Spencer could tell he was being intentionally rude. He deserved that. He glanced at the clock. Another 20 minutes and Carly would be home. Suck it up for 20 minutes. Freddie stared at the blank tv screen, pursing his lips.

"Freddie," he began, having no idea what he was going to say.

Freddie looked at him in fake shock. "What? Spencer Shay is talking to me now?"

Spencer shut his eyes. How to say this? "You have no idea how sorry I am," he said, determination strong in his voice.

"You know what? I don't wanna hear it! For the past month I've dealt with family members that I don't even know giving me pity, and I don't need it from you, too!" he crossed his arms furiously.

"That's not what I'm talking about," Spencer whispered brokenly. That seemed to catch Freddie off guard.

"Well then what do you mean?" Spencer didn't answer. "You're driving me insane!" Freddie stormed off to the bathroom, and didn't come out until Carly got home 15 minutes later. They both went upstairs, either to the studio or Carly's room. Freddie didn't even look in Spencer's direction.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sam walked in a little after him and Carly. Although things weren't exactly the same, he was definitely happy to be here rather than his grandma's house. She was a nice lady and all, be had only met her once when he was 6, and being here with his best friends he had known for years felt more right.

"I saw that you guys didn't do iCarly the past couple weeks," he said.

"Oh, iCarly can't function without our tech dork," Sam said. It looked like she was taking what Freddie said at the funeral pretty seriously.

"True," he assented. Carly giggled.

"Yeah, people at school kept complaining about it," she said.

"Until I threatened to fill all of their lockers with stinky cheese," Sam finished.

Freddie laughed. He hadn't actually laughed in a while. He would try and fake one here and there, but he didn't think he fooled anyone. Only Sam's wicked humor could pull a chuckle out of him.

Yep, even if this where tragedy had struck, he knew this is where he belonged.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Since Spencer's room was right next door, he could hear Freddie thrashing around on his bed half the night. He had slept for a couple hours, and when he woke up, the thrashing was still there. His grandma had said that she could hear him crying, but Spencer tried not to listen that hard.

At 4 in the morning, he finally heard silence coming from the living room, and decided that sleep for himself was out of the question. He quietly tip-toed to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and he heard Carly's computer upstairs. What is she watching at this hour? He listened harder, but couldn't hear anything but muffled voices emanating from the laptop.

He decided to go up and check on her. When he was right outside, he heard the familiar "Raandooom Daaanciing!" Now he knew she was watching some of the old iCarlys. He knocked on the door.

"Come in, Spencer," she said knowingly. He had a flashback of when Carly was 3, and he heard her crying in their old house. He had went in and slept in her bed because she was having a nightmare.

"What are you doing?" Spencer asked, though it was obvious.

"Watching some shows from like, 3 years ago. Freddie's voice hasn't even deepened yet," she chuckled. Spencer watched her face. It was smiling, but it was a sad smile.

"Watcha thinkin about?" he asked casually.

She sighed. "I'm thinking about how stupid our web show is."

"What do you mean? You love iCarly."

"I don't know. It just doesn't seem important anymore…for some reason. I mean, look at our segments! Why on Earth would we follow a teacher to her house? It's like we were stalking her." she shook her head.

Spencer came to the sudden realization that his baby sister was growing up, at this very moment. She had lived in the world of quirky web shows for too long, and right in front of his eyes, she was realizing the harsh realities of life. Believe it or not, Spencer wasn't as stupid as he acted. He knew since he was twelve and his parents died how hard life could be. So, he acted the way he did to show his sister how to have fun. Maybe he had taken it too far. Then she wouldn't have to figure it out like this. Was there anything that he _didn't _mess up completely?

"iCarly is _not _stupid," he said.

"Yeah, right," she said skeptically.

"Imagine someone sitting in your position right now. Sad, having a bad day. When they watch a couple of kids play pranks on their doorman, it cheers them up," he said. Carly considered this for a moment.

"I guess that's true, but either way, I don't think we are gonna keep doing iCarly."

"That's fine, too. It's your choice."

"Spencer, I've never seen you like this before…" she said in amazement.

"Like what?" he laughed.

"Like…mature and… normal," she finished like it was a question. Spencer didn't answer. He didn't want to explain that yet. "I think I like the other you better," she finished matter-of-factly.

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Freddie jerked awake with the sudden sense that he was being watched. Although he didn't catch him in the act, he had his suspicions about Spencer, who was rushing to the kitchen and whistling a little too casually. Wierd.

He looked at his watch and saw that it was eight in the morning. He had gotten 4 hours of good sleep. For him, that was a good night. As usual, though, he didn't feel rested at all. After a month, he was used to it. He had to believe that it would get better…eventually.

"Carly still sleeping?" he asked groggily, momentarily forgetting that he and Spencer had gotten in a fight the day before.

"Yea. I guess no one got a good night's sleep last night."

Freddie flushed with embarrassment. At least he hadn't cried. How humiliating it was for someone to hear him like that. Spencer didn't say it out loud, but Freddie knew it was the reason he hadn't slept. For some reason, the fact that it was Spencer made it even more embarrassing.

"Want some bacon?" Spencer asked.

"Sure," he slowly got out of his air bed. It seemed like Spencer had forgiven him for acting like a five-year old the day before, but either way, he had to apologize. Spencer had taken him in with open arms, even if he was acting like a jerk. He wasn't even a father, and he took care of Carly without hesitation, and now he was doing the same for Freddie.

Freddie sat down at the kitchen table. "I'm sorry for acting like an idiot yesterday," he said.

"No problem," he answered, flopping some bacon no Freddie's plate. "And I'm sorry for acting like an idiot, too."

Freddie chuckled. "No problem."

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They ate in silence for a while. Spencer was determined to make today a better day than yesterday. As he had done when Freddie was sleeping, he found himself staring at him. He didn't know why, but he couldn't look away. He could tell he was making Freddie uncomfortable by the way he was slightly leaning away.

There was a profound difference in his face when he was sleeping. He looked like he did before all of this started. When he was watching him, he remembered another time when Freddie had fallen asleep on the couch, and Mrs. Benson came in, demanding to wax his ears because it was Thursday. That was when he was threatening to move out. Spencer was willing to bet that Freddie felt really guilty about that now. When he was awake, he looked more pained, and older.

"What are you looking at?" he asked, exasperated.

"Nothing," Spencer mumbled, looking down quickly. He felt an odd sensation in his stomach when he met his eyes for some reason he couldn't imagine.

"Right," Freddie said sarcastically. He let his fork clatter to his plate. "I'm done. I'm gonna go see if Sam is home."

Spencer knew that he was just leaving because he thought that Spencer didn't want him around. Great, he thought, just another thing to feel guilty about. The kid's gonna be living here and I'm making him feel like he's a nuisance.

Well, he would try and fix that. He would try to do something right these days.

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Carly woke up, and automatically felt that something was different. _She _felt different, but she couldn't explain how. She walked from her room to the iCarly studio, and she wandered around it slowly, like she was in some new place.

She looked at the huge screen, the bra hanging on strings, the colorful lights. It all seemed insignificant now. Why was that, she wondered. Had her life really revolved around this for the past 3 years? Why? It was fun and all, but why did she think it was so important?

Then Carly started to remember things; all of the things she had done, like going to Japan, going to Dingo and demanding that they stopped stealing their idea's, fake-fighting Shelby Marx, all of the bickering with Nevel. All of those things were great, but thinking about them made Carly swell with sadness. Maybe it's because she knew iCarly was over, but that didn't seem like enough of an explanation. She sat in a bean bag and let a few tears silently roll down her cheeks.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Freddie left Sam's apartment around 2. She couldn't come over because her mom was in jail, again, and Sam was going to visit her. Sam had been to jail a couple times, but it was a wonder that the kid wasn't expelled and into hard drugs by now.

He walked in and found Spencer on the computer, but, from what he could tell, Spencer wasn't playing on the computer as much as staring off into space.

"Hey, Spencer," he announced.

"Yo," Spencer said, swinging the chair around.

"Carly awake yet?"

"Yeah, she's just been hangin out upstairs most of the day," he said. Freddie plopped down on the couch, exhausted, as usual. He took a deep breath. Unfortunately, his mind started wandering to dark places, like the apartment right across the hall. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to push the thoughts away, but they only seemed to get louder; the screams, the blood. He held his head in his hands, trying with all his strength to block everything out.

"Headache?" Spencer asked.

"Uh, yeah."

Spencer nodded, but the knowing look he had told Freddie he wasn't fooled. He had nothing to do. He was tired and didn't feel like hanging out with anyone. He thought about something Sam had said earlier: "So, now that you and Carly are living together, maybe she'll actually wanna be your girlfriend." Freddie had laughed it off. He didn't really care about that anymore, though. He thought back to his obsession with Carly and chuckled. Of course she was beautiful but he didn't like her like that anymore. Funny how losing someone changes you in so many ways.

"Maybe you should get some sleep," Spencer said. Freddie looked up and saw his eyes filled with concern.

"I think we all need some sleep," Freddie countered. No way in hell was he going to try to go to sleep in front of people. It was bad enough that Spencer had heard him last night. Then Spencer did something really unexpected. He came, sat next to him, and gave him a hug. Freddie stiffened for a second out of shock, then hugged him back, leaning into him. It was like he couldn't keep holding up his head because he was so tired. He rested it on Spencer's shoulder and took a deep breath. At the moment, it didn't occur to him that this was totally out of the ordinary. It didn't even cross his mind. And when Spencer tenderly put his arms around him, Freddie was close to breaking, no matter how embarrassing it would be. They heard footsteps, and quickly broke apart. They looked at each other, and Freddie saw an inner dilemma playing out in Spencer's eyes.

"Hey, guys," Carly said as she bounced down the stairs.

"Hey," Spencer said roughly. He cleared his throat. Freddie didn't say anything. Whatever had just happened there, it was different and strange. But it wasn't bad. It definitely wasn't bad… was it?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Spencer paced around his room, ready to pull his hair out. Freddie and Carly were eating dinner, but he just couldn't stand it. He had meant for that hug to be a friendly gesture, but had felt more than just… friendliness. And that was very very very wrong. Freddie was vulnerable, for one, not to mention his age.

He would just ignore it, that's all. He would just pretend he didn't feel anything at all. That was his only option, wasn't it?

He fell asleep early that night, too early. Which is why he woke up at 2 in the morning. Once again, he could hear Freddie twisting and turning. Every second it was harder and harder to not go talk to him. He would usually want to help, but he knew he was using it as an excuse to be close to Freddie.

It was so wrong! These new feelings plus the original guilt gave him a headache. He just wanted to scream. He couldn't take it anymore! He had to take it, though. After all, he had two people, not one, that were depending on him, not only for a place to live, but to help get them through this. Spencer just wanted things to be the way they were before. Yet again, that's what they all wanted.

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Freddie felt like absolute crap the next morning. He was tired, irritated, and didn't feel like getting out of bed. He often had days like this. However, since he was sleeping in the living room of someone else's apartment, he really had no choice but to get up and put his bed away. It was only 7, but he might as well get it over with. He unplugged the air mattress and let it deflate while he went to take a shower.

The rest of the day was as uneventful as the day before. Lately, Freddie had come to like uneventful and boring days. They were safe and predictable. It was Friday, and on Monday he was going to go back to school. That's one thing he wasn't looking forward to. Everyone was going to look at him funny, but if they got caught staring they would quickly look away. He knew it. He just didn't feel like being around people anymore, but he had no choice. Dork that he was, he still cared about his grades and graduating. That was one thing that hadn't changed, at least.

"Hey, do you wanna go to a movie with me and Sam?" Carly asked that evening.

"No thanks," he said lazily. He would have enough people to deal with on Monday.

Carly stood there for a minute with a funny look on her face, then left. That left just him and Spencer. I bet Spencer doesn't like that, he thought. But then he remembered the night before, about how Spencer had held him so gently. Maybe he doesn't hate me after all. Thinking about it made Freddie feel weird, like he was nervous about a date. He couldn't imagine why.

That brief state of caring seemed to pass, because Spencer wasn't talking to him. It wasn't as tense of a silence. Maybe he just couldn't think of anything to say. Freddie didn't know, but he was going to find out.

"Hey, Spencer?" he said hesitantly.

Spencer looked up from the counter. "Yeah?"

Freddie chickened out. "Have you made any new sculptures lately?" he asked lamely.

"No… I just haven't felt like it." Freddie nodded, and a few minutes passed.

"Spencer?"

"What?"

"Why are you acting so weird around me?" he asked in a rush, not looking at Spencer.

Spencer hesitated and tapped his foot. Freddie could tell if he was deciding whether or not just to tell him the truth about what was bothering him. He slowly came and sat on the couch next to Freddie.

"Because-" he took a deep breath. "Because I'm sorry."

Freddie thought for a moment, staring him down. "Yeah, you've said that, but you never told me what you meant…" he trailed off.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Spencer stared into Freddie's eyes, resisting the urges that he didn't want to have in the first place. It was like a magnetic force was drawing him closer, and closer.

No! he told himself. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Bad, bad, bad! The second hardest thing was answering the question.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Freddie placed a hand on Spencer's knee, trying to ease him into it. "What are you sorry about?" he asked intensely.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Spencer looked at his hand. Was he taunting him on purpose? Freddie eventually removed his hand, but that part of his knee felt very warm, and the warmth seemed to be spreading throughout his entire body. The force kept wanting him to go closer… and closer still.

"Because I could have stopped it!" he shouted, mainly as a distraction from his urges.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Freddie sat there with a blank look on his face. How could he possibly have stopped it?

"What are you talking about?" he asked. Spencer put his head in his hands; it looked like he was trying not to cry. This made Freddie desperately want to make him feel better, but he couldn't if Spencer didn't explain! He scooted closer to him. "What are you talking about?" he asked louder.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ugh, why did he have to scoot closer? He _was_ taunting him!

"If I hadn't taken so long… if I was just NORMAL!" he yelled. Freddie leaned back, his face incredulous. A moment passed, and Freddie took Spencer's shoulders, but not roughly.

"Explain," he said simply. Spencer tried with all his might to ignore the heat of his hands as he explained himself.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You know I do… weird things, right?" he started.

"Right…"

"Well if I wasn't stupid, I would have just grabbed a pack of donuts and left-"

"Donuts?" Freddie interrupted. "All of this is about a pack of donuts?"

Spencer took a deep breath and began again. "I was staring at the donuts for 10 minutes, Freddie. Ten minutes! I was having a "staring contest" with them!"

Freddie could definitely imagine that. It was so Spencer-ish. He kept his hands on Spencer's shoulders as he continued:

"If I had just grabbed one, I would have been back in time to stop everything! And me going at your dad flailing my arms like a jackass didn't help! Maybe he wouldn't have shot her!" he stopped, breathing hard. Freddie couldn't believe his ears. _That's _why he had been acting so weird. Because he blamed himself? That was crazy!

"Spencer, that's insane!" he voiced, squeezing his shoulders tighter. "You couldn't have stopped that maniac! He was sick in the head!"

"But don't you see? If I wasn't weird I could have stopped it!" he emphasized the last words.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Spencer watched as Freddie's expression turned from incredulous to gentle. His instincts told him to back away, but he couldn't control himself any longer. He watched as Freddie slowly leaned toward him. He was hesitant. Spencer's heart was pounding in his chest, his stomach in knots. He was coming closer, and Spencer didn't try and stop him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Freddie didn't know what he was doing. Something told him that this would make things better, though he knew that was wrong. He stared into Spencer's eyes as he leaned. He was breathing hard. It was like he wasn't controlling his body. The sensible Freddie wouldn't have done this in a million years.

After what seemed like forever, his lips met Spencer's. They were soft, trembling. All of Freddie's doubts were suddenly gone as a spark shot through his spine. The kiss didn't last long. It was short, sweet, and gentle.

"We wouldn't want you any other way, Spencer," he said sincerely, leaning his forehead against Spencer's, not wanting this moment to end.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 Spencer lay in his bed that night, replaying that kiss in his head over and over like a broken record. He eard Freddie's voice in his mind, so gentle: "We wouldn't want you any other way." Spencer knew he didn't deserve his forgiveness, but he couldn't be happier that Freddie was willing to give it. Now, the only problem was that what happened earlier was wrong, so so wrong. But he couldn't put into words how much he liked it, how much he wanted to do it again. Judging from the silence in the living room, he guessed that Freddie's thoughts on the matter were keeping him awake as well.

After an hour of thinking and coming up with no answers, he finally said screw it! and decided to just relive that perfect moment until he fell asleep.

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Why the hell did i do that? Freddie thought. He doesn't remember consciously deciding that he wanted to kiss Spencer. As everyone always says, it just happened! Did he regret it? He didn't know. All he knew was that it felt good, and that he felt safe with Spencer. He flashed back to when Spencer held him. Maybe that was when he first felt something more for him. Freddie also couldn't believe that all this time, Spencer had been tormenting himself over something he couldn't have stopped. He knew, though, that no matter what he said, Spencer wouldn't believe him, and that he would continue to blame himself. The question was, what was going to happen now? It was so wrong what they did. Freddie never thought he'd be gay, but honestly that was the least of his worries. He was more worried that this would ruin everything, make it worse than it already is. He wanted Spencer to be there for him, wanted Spencer to hold him again, but he knew that Spencer would do the right thing and pretend nothing had happened. Although Freddie was now 18, it was wrong because he was Carly's best friend, and he had always seen Spencer as an adult.

Why, then, could he not stop thinking about Spencer's soft, trembling, amazing lips.

He fell asleep with that in mind and actually got a night-mare free sleep for the first time in weeks.

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What the hec is going on? Carly could feel the awkwardness in the air that morning. All three of them were eating their cereal, not saying a word. All she could hear was the scrape of the spoons against the bowls and chewing. Scrape. chew. scrape. chew. The silence was driving her insane!

"So, what are you guys up to today?" she asked lamely.

"Nothing much," Spencer said.

"Nothing," said Freddie.

She wasn't going to give up. "So, Freddie, are you excited to go back to school? See everybody again?" she asked cheerfully. "Its definitely going to be different," he said, drinking the milk out of his bowl, not sounding in the least bit excited.

The silence returned. She swore she could hear a low buzzzzzzz.

"Is something...wrong with you two?" she asked. She would get to the bottom of this. Something was going on.

"No," they both said quickly. They looked at eachother and looked right back down to the table. She sighed, frustrated, and dropeed her spoon in her bowl, making a loud CLANK!

"i'm going to Sam's." She didn't bother inviting Freddie. She could tell he wasn't in the mood to go anywhere.

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Of course she would leave. Spencer didn't know what to do. He was alone with Freddie, all alone, no one would see...

NO! he told himself. he would not do anything! It was WRONG! Freddie avoided eye contact, which made it a bit easier to resist-Freddie's eyes were so-STOP!  
Spencer literally almost bit down on his fist. He couldn't think like that!

Now... how on earth was he going to break this god awful silence?

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Freddie could feel himself turning red. He and Spencer were alone, and he couldn't stop thinking about kissing him again. He imagined how it would feel. He imagined it would last longer, that Spencer would wrap his arms around him.

That was the point when he felt his face go red. He looked down quickly. This is ridiculous, he thought. Maybe yesterday was just...what do you call it... a bizzare, out-of-the-ordinary, flook that didn't mean anything? Maybe he was just imagining that he felt something. Maybe there was nothing to it; he was just comforting Spencer, and that was it.  
If he was going to make it through the rest of the day, he had to believe that.

He was stupid to think anything would come of it anyway.

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3 hours later

Carly wasn't home yet, it was only noon. This day is lasting forever!  
Just like the first day Freddie stayed here, him and Spencer were on the couch, not talking. As childish as it was, Freddie actually had the urge to hold Spencer's hand, like he was on a first date and at the movies. How retarded! He wondered what Spencer was thinking.

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Why does he have to sit so close? Hes doing it on purpose, just like yesterday! Spencer couldn't live like this. They had to talk about it, or they would both go insane.

"Freddie, about what happened yesterday-"

"I dont wanna talk about it" Freddie said quickly.

Was he ashamed? Spencer thought. For some reason, he didnt like the idea of that.

"We have to talk about what happened," he said, even though it was the last thing he wanted to talk about. He just wanted to pretend like it never happened, but it was clear by the last three hours that he couldn't do that.

"Look, Spencer, it was my fault, ok? I don't know what i was thinking." His sentences were coming out in a rush. "It didn't mean anything. Maybe i was just trying to make you feel better. It was stupid. I dont know why that would make you feel better when it just ruined everything even more than it already is. Is any of this making sense? The point is i'm sorry-"

"Ok! ok, Freddie calm down!" Spencer couldn't help but laugh. Freddie looked like he was afraid he was going to be sent to the corner.

"Don't laugh at me. I already feel stupid enough." he mumbled.

Spencer kept smiling. He was cute when he was embarassed. 'Oh my god. Did i really just think that?'

"Anyway," Freddie continued in that same hurried tone, "it was stupid to think it meant something, and we can forget it ever happened."

Spencer didn't know if that's what he wanted, but he knew its what he should have wanted.

Suddenly Freddie laughed. "you know, my mom would never let me date. She hated Carly because she was afraid ahe would hurt me," he laughed again. "I can just imagine what she would say if she knew what was going on-" he stopped short. He didn't mean to bring that up. Once again he got that feeling in his stomache, that empty yet heavy feeling. it was so painfull he had to clasp his stomach. This was the last thing Freddie expected to happen. This whole thing with Spencer was a good distraction from his bigger problems, and now they were both staring him in the face.  
Spencer put his hand on Freddie's shoulder. He was never good at saying the right thing, so he just kept his mouth shut. It looked like Freddie was rtying very hard not to cry.

"Earlier that day i had threatened her that i would move out again," Freddie seemed to be talking to himself. "She promised me the last time she would stop treating me like a five-year-old, but she didnt. Now i wish i had never brought that up. And the day before i didn't talk to her at all because i was too busy with other stuff. It had been like that a lot lately. Now i just wish i had. She seemed tired and stressed, and i was too busy with my own stupid life to ask her how she was doing, if she was ok-" he stopped and looked at Spencer, like he forgot he was there. "Sorry, I'm just gonna shut up now." he crossed his arms and stared at the tv screen.

Spencer had no idea what to say to all of that. Hesitantly, he put his arm around him, knowing it would most likely lead to something that shouldn't happen.

"You dont have to stop talking," he said. He knew from experience it helped to get everything out in the open.

Freddie looked at him, sadness in his eyes. "I was so selfish." he said.

"No, you're not! You're just like every other person on the planet. You had a life, So does every other teenager."

Freddie didn't respond. "I know you don't believe me," Spencer said. It was like telling someone it wasn't their fault their friend committed suicide. No matter how hard you tried, they would continue to blame themselves.

"Just like you don't believe me when i say you couldn't have stopped it," Freddie countered. "And you couln't have."

Spencer sighed. "You don't know that."

"I don't blame you," Freddie said bluntly.  
Why did Freddie always end up making Spencer feel better? Shouldn't it be the other way around?  
Without seeming to think about it, Freddie leaned against Spencer, laying his head on his shoulder. Oh, how Spencer loved the contact. Sure, it was wrong, but who cares? Maybe he just shouldn't care. Freddie made it clear he wanted it to mean something. Why shouldn't it? It would make both of them happy. Isn't that what they both needed?

Yes, it was.  
Spencer leaned down and kissed him, Freddie got up and kissed him right back. It was slow, unsure, but speeding up. Freddie slid his hands up Spencer's chest, exploring. His hands went up his shirt. His hands were cold. Spencer slid his tongue into Freddie's mouth, manuevered himself so he was nearly on top of him. His instinct told him to stop. He didn't to. His breathing was speeding up, his heart beating out of his chest, but if they went any further, he would feel like he was taking advantage. Freddie was vulnerable, grieving.  
Freddie seemed to sense Spencer's reluctance, so he pulled away and got up quickly. He was panting, staring at Spencer, confused. Spencer got a glimspe of his erection before Freddie booked it to the bathroom.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry it's been so long! I've been busy and I just started another story. But, without further excuses, here is chapter 7. Hope you enjoy!**

There had seemed to be an unspoken agreement that they wouldn't continue with iCarly. Freddie didn't even bother asking if they were going to do it that night, somehow already knowing the answer. That morning, Carly quietly ate her cereal. Thankfully Spencer wasn't up yet, as Freddie was planning on avoiding him at all costs. He was so embarrassed! He went red just thinking about what had happened the day before. Hell, he didn't even come out of the bathroom until ten o clock that night when everyone was in their bedrooms.

"Well, are you ready?" Carly asked as she took their cereal bowls to the kitchen.

Freddie grabbed his backpack, only somewhat reluctantly. He would much rather face school then Spencer. At least it was a temporary eight hour escape, in which he could plan what he was going to do when school was over.

"Let's go," he said.

As they made their way out of the building and to the bus stop, Freddie suddenly felt bad for spending almost no time with Carly. He realized he missed her.

"Wanna go to the Groovy Smoothie after school?" he asked. "Sam, too?"  
Carly seemed taken aback, but happy that he was actually offering to do something.

"Yeah!" she practically bounced. "Sounds fun!"

Freddie smiled as they boarded the bus. There were some stares and whispered conversations as people saw that he was back, but he tried to ignore them. It was only going to get worse as the day progressed.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Spencer woke at about nine o clock that morning, feeling surprisingly refreshed and in a decent mood. He swelled with happiness when he thought of yesterday's events. He knew he should feel guilty, but nothing could bring him down from his high that morning. Spencer got all giddy when he thought of it. _He'd _had that affect on Freddie, and he'd enjoyed it, perhaps too much.

Spencer was in such a good mood, he was going to make a sculpture for the first time in weeks, and he had the perfect inspiration for it. Excited to get started, he took a shower and went to the junk yard, looking for scrap metal, followed by a trip to the store to buy some paint and some tools. Today was going to be a good day. _Finally, _a good day.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Freddie was more than happy to be going to the Groovy Smoothie with Carly and Sam by the end of the school day. It was like the funeral all over again. People were apologizing, people he didn't even know, giving him their condolences. All he wanted was for things to be normal, why couldn't anybody understand that?

Ok, maybe he was overreacting, he knew that. Everybody was truly sorry and just being nice, but still, he couldn't help but get irritated.

He started to feel better as they walked into the familiar hangout. Him and Sam were even getting back to their old bickering, and Tebow was right their offering them burritos on a stick. It made Freddie smile. For the first time in a very long time, he felt like he could live through this.

"So, Fredward, I bet you're excited to be back in school and become a geek all over again, huh?" Sam asked as she sipped her smoothie.

"Man, I'm so behind on everything," he said. "And my computer crashed, which means I have to repair the hard-drive, which will take a new 300-gigabyte-OW!" Freddie grabbed his head, where Sam had just thrown her fork. "Sam!"

"You were boring me!" she exclaimed, in a tone that suggested that she did nothing wrong.

Carly just sat there, idly texting the whole time. "Some things never change, I swear!" she mumbled.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Spencer had been working hard on his sculpture all day long, and was ciated with dirt and sweat when the kids arrived.

"Spencer, we got you something from the Groovy Smoothie!" Carly called.

Spencer put down his drill. "Is it a-"

"Yes it's a smoothie," she interrupted.

"Sweet." He almost laughed at the expression on Freddie's face when he walked into the living room. Oh, yeah, he's totally embarrassed.

"You're working on a sculpture?" Carly asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I started it this morning," he breathed, wiping his sweaty forehead for dramatic effect.

"You seem like you're in a good mood," Sam stated the obvious.

"I am, actually," he responded. "How was your first day back, Fred-O?"

Freddie looked at him like he didn't know what to say. Spencer smiled again, and he saw Freddie blush and look down.

"Uh, it was fine," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well, I'm gonna go put my bag upstairs," Carly said, and then we can go."

"Where you guys going?" Spencer asked.

"The mall," Sam answered.

Damn. Spencer had to admit that he was having a good time at Freddie's expense. Yeah, it was kind of mean, but oh so amusing. He wanted nothing more than to be alone with him, and he had a great idea of how to accomplish that.

Carly bounded down the stairs. "Alright. You guys ready?"

"Uh, wait. You and Sam go. I want to show Freddie something I'm working on." he said.

"We wanna see it, too!" Carly argued.

"Nope!" I laughed. "I'm afraid its something that only Galaxy Wars geeks like Freddie and I will enjoy."

"Ugh, nerd stuff!" Sam sighed. "Come on, Carls," she dragged the other girl out of the door. Freddie looked very agitated. With pursed lips he turned to Spencer.

"Well, what do you want to show me?" he asked.

Spencer barely let him get the question out of his mouth before he basically tackled Freddie into the wall and trapped him into a passionate kiss. He had been thinking about doing that all day. Freddie made feeble attempts to push him off, but was losing his will as the kiss went on. He wrapped his arms around Spencer, and Spencer pushed himself harder against him.

Freddie broke away, panting. "What are we doing?" he breathed.

Spencer kissed him again. "I have no idea."

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Freddie's mind was spinning. Should he stop? He sure as hell didn't want to. He didn't think he _could _at this point. As Spencer pushed him harder against the wall, kissing his neck, Freddie was getting more and more turned on by the second. He let himself go in the sheer pleasure that Spencer was bringing to him. He closed his eyes and focused on the way his soft lips felt against his skin.

Spencer slowly moved his hand down and cupped Freddie's throbbing erection. Freddie gasped in pleasure.

"Come on," Spencer said, grabbing his hand and pulling Freddie into the direction of his room. Freddie went eagerly, not wanting to rethink anything, second-guess anything.

Spencer had barely shut the door when Freddie embraced him, now exploring _Spencer's _neck. He relished the taste, the feel of the groan escaping Spencer's throat. They made their way to the bed.. Spencer was in the process of undoing Freddie's pants when the doorbell rang.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Of _course _someone would come over! Spencer panted on top of Freddie for a second, his hand still lingering on Freddie's jeans.

"I'll be right back," he sighed in defeat. This better be important!

Spencer worked on calming himself down before he looked through the peep hole.

It was a police officer. His insides turned to jelly. This couldn't be good. He opened the door.

"Hello, officer," he said.

"Mr. Shay," the officer acknowledged. "Is Freddie Benson here?"

"Uh, yeah. Come on in. I'll go get him."

The officer remained standing right by the coffee table. Spencer went into his room, by which time Freddie was standing there and buttoning his pants back up. "It's an officer," he said weakly. Panic flew across Freddie's features, but he composed himself and followed Spencer to the living room.

"Hello," Freddie said roughly.

"Mr. Benson," the officer said, all professional-like. "I'm afraid I have some bad news."

Spencer looked over to see Freddie in blank surprise. "What is it?" he asked.

"You father... he has... escaped." said the officer, looking down to the ground.

The entire room tensed into a horrible silence.

"What?" Freddie exclaimed, seeming like he was barely able to breathe.

"Your father has escaped from prison."


End file.
